Happy Valentine’s Day! 😀 <3
My Valentine (hate/love relationship) is the pool (obviously 😉
So last week I had to swim 34km in total. In the beginning I was quite terrible at spreading out my trainings but now I’m starting to get into a routine. I don’t work as much anymore so that gives me more time to rest and releases some worries.
Even though my emotional state might not incredibly stable I do realise that every session isn’t such an obstacle anymore. It’s becoming easier to turn off my mind and just swim. Though some trainings are still a pain the ass, especially when I’m emotionally and/or physically worn out.
For example: one of my trainings last week was a pyramid with the peak being 1km at top speed. I wanted to get this under 14:30. And trust me, when you swim at top speed and try to reach a goal you won’t make it if you don’t focus, push through and keep motivating yourself. But I did it: 14:23 🙂
After the pyramid I also had to swim 4x(5x50m) every set of 5x50m another starting time (45, 50, 55, 45). I have been trying to make the 45 seconds for a while now but I just couldn’t quite do it, especially because it’s always a last exercise. However, I also did this! 🙂
The trainings for this week so far haven’t been too exciting to describe in detail but I’ll just say that they went pretty well. I swam the 34km and reached all my time limits! So I’d say things are looking up! 🙂
However, I have had some emotional setbacks. I spend a lot of my time reading lately. I really like to lose myself in the magic world of Harry Potter to just escape reality for a second. At the moment it feels like everything in my life is a challenge I have to fight and fortune doesn’t seem to show up on my doorstep…
I’m determined to change that, though. Yesterday I had a conversation with my psychologist-light and we really talked about taking action: finally having that conversation with my coach, getting people interested in my project, finding other creative ways to raise money, making choices while not exactly knowing what I want. I have to release stress, keep things that give me energy and make me happy and release things that drain me.
My physiotherapist advised me to go to someone in the same practice who looks at posture, remedial therapy. I seem to be storing stress in my neck and shoulders. The remedial therapist looked at my posture, she explained things about how I was sitting, standing, lying and moving and how certain postures can drain you. Doing the exercise she gave me makes me feel lighter and it gives me energy and confidence! 🙂
I also tried to figure out my life using the Tzolk’in (Maya Calendar) which is incredibly interesting but also really vague.. It determines your life theme and goal and the qualities and abilities you posses to reach that goal. It also gives you your talent and what you need to develop that. Every one of these aspects comes with a positive and negative side.
Even though I didn’t get a precise view on my life it did help me in a way. It motivated me to try to appreciate life. I want to develop myself more. I want to be doing more with my free time so that I don’t feel useless. I’m trying to gradually appreciate who I really am.
So yeah I finally have some energy to take charge of my life and make something of it. I sent my coach a message, I’m writing my blog again, I want to redecorate my room, learn to draw, learn to play the guitar or ukulele, play more piano, start working on my book again, pick up trying to learn Sanskrit, read the classics, put more time in developing myself spiritually.
There’s tons of stuff I can keep myself busy with and I don’t want to waste that time. And I really hope I can keep this train of thought and the energy to make this reality. I just don’t want to waste my time feeling sad and unhappy about my life this much.
I want to have the energy and confidence to make my life better, to start to love myself and to help and inspire others to do the same. 🙂
I am a nineteen-year-old girl from Baambrugge, a tiny village near Amsterdam, with big ambitions. I like to set big goals for myself, I like to explore my own boundaries and see if I can expand them.